The Wedding Girl Read online

  `Married before?' said Olivia. She gave a shocked little laugh. `What are you talking about?'

  `I have been given to believe '

  `What do you mean?' interrupted Olivia. `Is someone saying Milly's been married before?' Canon Lytton inclined his head slightly. `Well, they're lying! Of course Milly hasn't been married! How on earth can you believe such a thing?'

  `It is my duty to follow up all such accusations.'

  `What,' said Isobel, `even if they come from complete crackpots?'

  `I use my discretion,' said Canon Lytton, giving her a hard look. `The person who told me this was quite insistent and even claimed to have a copy of a marriage certificate.'

  `Who was it?' said Isobel.

  `That, I am not at liberty to say,' said Canon Lytton, rearranging his cassock carefully.

  You love this, thought Isobel, gazing at him. You just love it.

  `Jealousy!' said Olivia suddenly. `That's what this is. Somebody's jealous of Milly, and they're trying to spoil her wedding. There must be a lot of disappointed girls out there. No wonder they're targeting poor Milly! Really, Canon Lytton, I'm surprised at you. Believing such scurrilous nonsense!'

  `Scurrilous nonsense it may be,' said Canon Lytton. 'Nevertheless, I wish to speak to Milly herself on her return. In case there are facts pertaining to this matter with which you' he nodded at Olivia `are not acquainted.'

  `Canon Lytton,' said Olivia furiously. `Are you seriously suggesting that my daughter might have got married without telling me? My daughter tells me everything!'

  There was a small movement from the sofa, and both Olivia and Canon Lytton turned to look at Isobel.

  `Would you like to say something, Isobel?' said Canon Lytton.

  `No,' said Isobel quickly, and coughed. `Nothing.'

  `Who's she supposed to have married, anyway?' demanded Olivia. `The postman?'

  There was a short silence. Isobel glanced up, trying not to look too tense.

  `A man named Kepinski,' said Canon Lytton, reading from a piece of paper. `Allan Kepinski.'

  Isobel's heart sank. Milly didn't have a hope.

  `Allan Kepinski?' said Olivia incredulously. `That's a made-up name, if ever I heard one! The whole thing's obviously a hoax. Set up by some poor character, obsessed by Milly's good fortune. You read about this sort of thing all the time. Don't you, Isobel?'

  `Yes,' said Isobel weakly. `All the time.'

  `And now,' said Olivia, standing up, `if you'll excuse me, Canon Lytton, I've a thousand things to do, and they don't include listening to made-up lies about my daughter. We do have a wedding on Saturday, you know!'

  `I am aware of that fact,' said Canon Lytton. `Nevertheless, I will need to speak to Milly about this. Perhaps later this evening will be convenient.'

  `You can speak to her all you like,' said Olivia. `But you're wasting your time!'

  `I will return,' said Canon Lytton portentously. `Permit me to see myself out.'

  As the front door slammed behind him, Olivia looked at Isobel.

  `Do you know what he's talking about?'

  `No!' said Isobel. `Of course not.'

  `Isobel,' said Olivia sharply. `You may have fooled Canon Lytton, but you don't fool me! You know something about this, don't you? Is something going on?'

  `Look, Mummy,' said Isobel, trying to sound calm. `I think we should just wait until Milly gets back.'

  `Wait for what?' Olivia stared at her in dismay. `Isobel, what are you saying? There's no truth in what Canon Lytton said, is there?'

  `I'm not saying anything,' said Isobel stoutly. `Not until Milly gets back.'

  `I won't have you girls keeping secrets from me,' said Olivia angrily. Isobel sighed.

  `To be honest, Mummy,' she said, `it's a bit late for that.'

  Milly was trudging back from the station when a car pulled up alongside her.

  `Hello, darling,' said James. `Would you like a lift?'

  `Oh,' said Milly. `Thanks.'

  Without meeting her father's eye, she got into the car and stared straight ahead at the darkening street, trying desperately to organize her thoughts. She had to decide what she was going to do. She had to come up with a plan. All the way back from London she had tried to think rationally; to form some sensible solution. But now here she was, back in Bath, minutes away from home, and she was still in a state of uncertainty. Could she really force Alexander to keep quiet? Already it was Thursday evening; the wedding was on Saturday. If she could just get through Friday .. .

  `Did you have a good time in London?' said James. Milly jumped.

  `Yes,' she said. `Shopping. You know.'

  `I do,' said James. `Did you find anything nice?'

  `Yes,' said Milly. There was a pause, and she realized that she didn't have any shopping bags. `I bought . . . cuff links for Simon.'

  `Very nice. He said he would call for you later, by the way. After work.'

  A spasm of nerves hit Milly in the stomach.

  `Oh good,' she said, feeling sick. How could she face Simon? How could she even look him in the eye?

  As they got out of the car she felt a sudden desire to run away, down the street, and never see anybody ever again. Instead, she followed her father up the steps to the front door.

  `She's back!' She heard her mother's voice cry as the door opened. Olivia appeared in the hall. `Milly,' she said in clipped, furious tones. `What's all this nonsense?'

  `All what nonsense?' said Milly apprehensively.

  `All this nonsense about you being married?'

  Milly felt a hammer-blow to her heart.

  `What do you mean?' she said shakily.

  `What's going on?' said James, following Milly into the hall. `Olivia, are you all right?'

  `No, I'm not all right,' said Olivia jerkily. `Canon Lytton came to see us this afternoon.' She glanced over her shoulder. `Didn't he, Isobel?'

  `Yes,' said Isobel, coming out of the drawing room. `He came to see us.' She pulled a quick face at Milly, and Milly stared back at her, feeling fear rising inside her like choking gas.

  `What did he-'

  `He had some ridiculous story about Milly,' said Olivia. `He said she'd been married before!'

  Milly didn't move. Her eyes flickered to Isobel and back again.

  `Only Isobel doesn't seem to think it is so ridiculous!' said Olivia.

  `Oh, really?' said Milly, looking at Isobel with scorching eyes.

  `Mummy!' exclaimed Isobel, scandalized. `That's not fair! Milly, honestly, I didn't say anything. I said we should wait till you got back.'

  `Yes,' said Olivia. `And now she's back. So one of you had better tell us what this is all about.' Milly looked from face to face.

  `All right,' she said shakily. `Just let me take off my coat.'

  There was silence as she unwrapped her scarf, took off her coat, and hung them both up. She turned round and surveyed her audience.

  `Maybe we should all have a drink,' she said.

  `I don't want a drink!' exclaimed Olivia. `I want to know what's going on. Milly, is Canon Lytton right? Have you been married before?'

  `Just . . . just give me a minute to sit down,' said Milly desperately.

  `You don't need a minute!' cried Olivia. `You don't need a minute! What's the answer? Have you been married before or not? Yes or no, Milly? Yes or no?'

  `Yes!' screamed Milly. `I'm married! I've been married for ten years!'

  Her words resonated round the silent hall. Olivia took a small pace back and clutched the stair bannister.

  `I got married when I was at Oxford,' Milly continued in a trembling voice. `I was eighteen. It . . . it didn't mean anything. No one knew. No one knew. And I thought no one would ever find out. I thought . . .' She broke off. `Oh, what's the point?'

  There was silence. Isobel glanced apprehensively at Olivia. Her face was an ugly scarlet; she seemed to be having trouble breathing.

  `Are you serious, Milly?' she said eventually.

  `Yes.'

 
`You really got married when you were eighteen. And you really thought that no one would ever find out.'

  There was a pause then Milly nodded miserably.

  `Then you're a stupid, stupid girl!' shrieked Olivia. Her voice lashed across the room like a whip, and Milly turned pale. `You're a stupid, selfish girl! How could you have thought that no one would find out? How could you have been so stupid? You've ruined everything for all of us!'

  `Stop it!' said James angrily. `Stop it, Olivia.'

  `I'm sorry,' whispered Milly. `I really am.'

  `It's no good being sorry!' screamed Olivia. `It's too late for sorry! How could you have done this to me?'

  `Olivia!'

  `I suppose you thought it was clever, did you? Getting married and keeping it a secret. I suppose you thought you were being frightfully grown-up.'

  `No,' said Milly miserably.

  `Who was he? A student?'

  `A research fellow.'

  `Swept you off your feet, did he? Promised you all sorts of things?'

  `No!' shouted Milly, suddenly snapping. `I married him to help him! He needed to stay in the country!'

  Olivia stared at Milly, her expression gradually changing as she worked out what Milly was saying.

  `You married an illegal immigrant?' she whispered. Her voice rose to a shriek. `An illegal immigrant?'

  `Don't say it like that!' said Milly.

  `What sort of illegal immigrant?' A note of hysteria entered Olivia's voice. `Did he threaten you?'

  `For God's sake, Mummy!' said Isobel.

  `Olivia,' said James. `Calm down. You're not helping.'

  `Helping?' Olivia turned on James. `Why should I want to help? Do you realize what this means? We'll have to call the wedding off!'

  `Postpone it, maybe,' said Isobel. `Until the divorce comes through.' She pulled a sympathetic face at Milly.

  `We can't!' cried Olivia desperately. `It's all arranged! It's all organized!' She thought for a moment, then whipped round to Milly. `Does Simon know about this?'

  Milly shook her head. Olivia's eyes began to glitter.

  `Well, then we can still go through with it,' she said quickly. Her eyes darted urgently from face to face. `We'll fob Canon Lytton off! If none of us says a word, if we all hold our heads high ...'

  `Mummy!' exclaimed Isobel. `You're talking about bigamy!'

  `So what?'

  `Olivia, you're mad,' said James in disgust. `Obviously the wedding must be cancelled. And if you ask me, it's no bad thing.'

  `What do you mean?' said Olivia hysterically. `What do you mean, it's no bad thing? This is the most terrible thing that's ever happened to our family, and you're saying it's no bad thing!'

  `Frankly, I think it would be good for us all to get back to normal!' exclaimed James angrily. `This whole wedding has got out of hand. It's nothing but wedding, wedding, wedding! You talk of nothing else.'

  `Well, someone has to organize it!' shrieked Olivia. `Do you know how many things I've had to sort out?'

  `Yes I do!' shouted James in exasperation. `A thousand! Every day, you've got a thousand bloody things to do! You realize that's seven thousand things a week? What is this, Olivia? An expedition to the moon?'

  `You just wouldn't understand,' said Olivia bitterly.

  `The whole family's obsessed! I think it would be a very good thing for you, Milly, if you just got your feet back on the ground for a while.'

  `What do you mean?' said Milly shakily. `My feet are on the ground.'

  `Milly, your feet are up with the birds! You've gone rushing into this marriage without considering what it means, without considering all the other options. I know Simon's a very attractive young man, I know his father's very rich ...'

  `That's got nothing to do with it!' Milly stared at James with an ashen face. `I love Simon! I want to marry him because I love him.'

  `You think you do,' said James. `But perhaps this is a good chance for you to wait for a while. See if you can stand on your own two feet, for a change. Like Isobel.'

  `Like Isobel,' echoed Milly, in a disbelieving voice. `You always want me to be Isobel. Perfect bloody Isobel.'

  `Of course I don't,' said James impatiently. `That's not what I said.'

  `You want me to do the things that Isobel does.'

  `Maybe,' said James. `Some of them.'

  'Daddy-' began Isobel.

  `Well, fine!' screamed Milly, feeling blood rush to her head. `I'll be like Isobel! I won't get married! I'll get pregnant instead!'

  There was a sharp silence.

  `Pregnant?' said Olivia incredulously.

  `Thanks a lot, Milly,' said Isobel shortly, stalking to the front door.

  'Isobel-' began Milly. But Isobel slammed the door behind her without looking back.

  `Pregnant,' repeated Olivia. She groped for a chair and sat down.

  `I didn't mean to say that,' muttered Milly, appalled at herself. `Can you just forget I said it?'

  `You're married,' said Olivia shakily. `And Isobel's pregnant.' She looked up. `Is she really pregnant?'

  `That's her business,' said Milly, staring at the floor. `It's her business. I shouldn't have said anything.'

  The doorbell rang, jolting them all.

  `That'll be Isobel,' said James, getting up. He opened the door and took a step back.

  `Ah,' he said. `It's you, Simon.'

  Isobel strode along the pavement, not stopping, not looking back, not knowing where she was going. Her heart was thumping hard, and her jaw was set and tense. The snow had turned to slush; a cold drizzle was coating her hair and dripping down her neck. But with every step she felt a little better. With every step she was further into anonymity; further away from the shocked faces of her family.

  Her whole body still prickled with anger. She felt betrayed, misrepresented, too furious with Milly to speak . . . and yet too sorry for her to blame her. She'd never witnessed such an ugly family scene, with Milly defenceless in the middle of it. No wonder she'd lashed out with the first diversionary tactic she had to hand. It was understandable. But that didn't make it any easier.

  Isobel closed her eyes. She felt raw and vulnerable; unready for this. On her return, her parents would surely expect her to talk to them. They would expect her to answer questions, to reassure them and help them digest this piece of startling information. But she had barely digested it herself. Her condition was a nebulous fact floating around her mind, unwanted and unformed, as yet unpresentable to the outside world. She couldn't articulate what she thought about it; could no longer distingiush between emotional and physical sensation. Energy and optimism alternated with tearfulness and the nausea made everything even worse. What does it feel like? Milly would no doubt ask. What does it feel like, to have a child inside you? But Isobel didn't want to answer that. She didn't want to think of herself as carrying a child.

  She stopped at a corner and cautiously laid her hand over her stomach. When she imagined whatever was inside her, it was as a small shellfish, or a snail. Something coiled up and hardly human. Something indeterminate, whose life had not begun. Whose life might, if she chose, progress no further. A wave of strong feeling, half grief, half sickness, swept over her, and she began to tremble. The whole family, she thought, is concerned with whether Milly's wedding should go ahead or not. While I, all alone, am trying to decide whether another human's life should go ahead or not.

  The thought transfixed her. She felt almost overcome by her burden, overwhelmed by the decision she was going to have to make, and for a moment she thought she might collapse, sobbing, on the hard pavement. But instead, with a slight impatient shake of the head, she thrust her hands deeper into her pockets and, teeth gritted, began once more to walk.

  Simon and Milly sat, facing each other on armchairs in the drawing room, as though appearing on a television chat show.

  `So,' said Simon finally. `What is all this?'

  Milly gazed at him silently. Her fingers shook as she pushed a frond of hair back from her
face; her lips opened to speak, then closed again.

  `You're making me nervous,' said Simon. `Come on, sweetheart. Nothing's that bad. It's not life-threatening, is it?'

  `No.'

  `Well then.' He grinned at her, and Milly smiled back, feeling a sudden relief.

  `You won't like it,' she said.

  `I'll be brave,' said Simon. `Come on, hit me with it.'

  'OK,' said Milly. She took a deep breath. `The thing is, we can't get married on Saturday. We're going to have to postpone the wedding.'

  `Postpone?' said Simon slowly. `Well, OK. But why?'

  `There's something I haven't told you,' said Milly, meshing her hands together, twisting them around until her knuckles felt as though they might break. `I did something very stupid when I was eighteen. I got married. It was a fake marriage. It didn't mean anything. But the divorce never went through. So I'm I'm still married.'

  She glanced at Simon. He looked bewildered but not angry, and she felt a sudden flood of reassurance. After her mother's hysterics, it was a relief to see Simon taking the news calmly. He wasn't freaking out; he wasn't yelling. But of course he wasn't. After all, this was nothing to do with their relationship, was it? This was nothing but a technical hitch.

  `All it means is, I'll have to wait for the decree absolute before we can get married,' she said. She bit her lip. `Simon, I'm really sorry.

  There was a long silence.

  `I don't get it,' said Simon eventually. `Is this a joke?'

  `No,' said Milly. `No! God, I wish it was! It's true. I'm married. Simon, I'm married!'

  She gazed at him miserably. His dark eyes scanned her face; slowly a look of disbelief crept over his features.

  `You're serious.'

  `Yes.'

  `You're really married.'

  `Yes. But it wasn't a proper marriage,' said Milly quickly. She stared down at the floor, trying to keep her voice steady. `He was gay. The whole thing was fake. To keep him in the country. It honestly meant nothing. Less than nothing! You do understand, don't you? You do understand?'

  She looked up at his face. And as she saw his expression she realized, with a thud of dismay, that he didn't.

  `It was a mistake,' she said, almost tripping over the words in her haste. `A big mistake. I see that now. I should never have agreed to do it. But I was very young, and very stupid, and he was a friend. Or at least I thought he was a friend. And he needed my help. That's all it was!'